{"title":"Candles","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"whiskey-river-soap-co-what-the-fuck-matchbooks-funny-matches","title":"What the Fuck? Matchbooks","description":"\u003cp\u003eLIGHT ’EM UP. Yeah you read that right. An F-Bomb right at the top of the page, and in bold font too! We know some people might prefer we censor ourselves, but we all had a meeting and decided those people can all fuck off. Our bitchin' new matchbooks have earned it, just have a gander below and see for yourself. It's a fact that everyone loves the F-word these days (except the people we told to fuck off earlier). From the sage advice of \"Let That Shit Go,\" to the kid-friendly \"Don't Even Fuck With Fire,\" there's something here for everyone and their meemaw. 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